Oberyn Martell x Wife!OC (Lisanna Lannister)

Warnings: loss of virginity, experienced partner x virgin, p in v sex, oral (female receiving), arranged marriage, comments are appreciated as I’m still deciding if this project will be shared on tumblr

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monsieur-kazzle-dazzle:

Hondo Ohnaka Appreciation Post

if gaslight gatekeep girlboss was a person

I am 31. Almost 32. I will forever be 23. I am almost 60. I am beautiful. I am strong. I could stand to lose a little weight. I want a baby right now. I love the freedom of responsibility only for myself. I care so much. I hate people more than anything. I love to dance. I am in so much pain every day. I am perfectly fine. I am teetering on the edge of a breakdown. I want to go back to school. I am past the point of patience with school work. I love sex. I hate to be touched. I am happier than I have ever been. I am five seconds from disaster. I am ancient. I am barely more than a kid. I want to believe in something. I want to believe in me.

thekinglunar:

shirtsthatgohard:

ALT

ALT

gotta-get-that-pma:

badjokesbyjeff:

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes it is.”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball.”
Man: ‟That’s nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?”
Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes, it is..”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.”
Man: ‟That’s nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?”
Boy: ‟$750.”
Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!”
The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?”
The son says, ‟$1,000.”
The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.”
The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

casualcarnage:

saint-batrick:

purrfectly:

rosesetonfire:

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.

because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur “very beautiful, very powerful” at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.

wingsfromwhere:

Jettison is like one of the top 10 words in the english language, get that fucking thing out of here at a notable velocity

secondlina:

He’s got the power of LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And stubbornness.

{Check out my comics below}

> namesakecomic.com

> crow-time.com